8.21.2005
20 Things...Erin tagged me for this one...I have to list 10 things I love and hate. Here ya go.
10 things I love:
1. Rylee. Without a doubt she is the best thing in my life. I shudder to imagine the empty, lonely person I would be without her. When I think of her, I think of the song by Rascal Flatts "Bless the Broken Road". I know that the song is talking about finding a lover, but when you look at it and see the words, it just fits me and my girl. The chorus goes like this:
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Also, those of you who know me, know that I am not a religious person, that God and I aren't really on speaking terms. But whatever you believe is in motion in the universe that directs our paths....THAT brought me to Rylee who is the saving grace in all of my 'mistakes' and the hurt caused by those who were supposed to have love me in this life.
And I LOVE it when we're sleeping at night and she crawls over to me and lays her head on my back or chest. There's nothing better. My world is right.
2. Rain. I love to be inside on rainy days, with lamp light reading a book or watching a good chick flick.
3. Hot summer days when I can play outside. There's nothing like being at the beach or the pool in the sun. Unfortunately, as someone who has had melanoma, I have to remain lathered in sunscreen, but it's still awesome to be in the sun and feel it warm me from the outside in.
4. Humility. I have to say that this is probably the most attractive quality in a person as far as I'm concerned. Chances are, if you're really that great, I'll find out without you telling me and when I do, I'll love you. Humble people are soooo attractive.
5. Having my bills paid and money in my checking account. A cushion feels great, and for the first time in a long time, I'm actually in this place. There's more paycheck than month instead of vice versa. No more red numbers and NSF fees from the bank. I know for lots of people it might not be a big deal, but this weekend I had an extra over $600 in expenses that I had to cover, and I could. After struggling for the past two and a half years, that's such a relief
6. Sushi. 'Nuff said.
7. Pillow talk. Late nights in bed with someone special, just talking, dreaming and scheming. I'm not talking about sex, although I enjoy a good roll in the sheets as much as the next person. I just love the closeness of lying next to someone and sharing life. That's what sucks most about being single.
8. Shopping for Rylee or myself when I find stuff that fits. Understandably, this makes achieving number 5 a bit more difficult, because when there *is* money left, I tend to spend it, just 'cause I have it. I am getting better, though, and now I just buy things on sale.
9. Intellectual stimulation and deep conversation. Come on, if we're going to spend our precious time talking, make me think. Or at the very least, make me laugh. That ranks way up there on my list too!
10. The smell of Surf and Downy when I do laundry. Clean clothes rock!
I have 11. I love college football games in the fall. The sound of the bands playing, the energy in the air, autumn breeze, sweatshirts....oh man....wish I were there right now.
10 Things I Hate
1. People who sexually abuse children. See, Mr. Pedophile, you don't understand that the true violation lies not in the physical act you so selfishly commit on a child, but in the stripping of innocence, childhood and a sense of security that most often lasts a lifetime. You rob innocent children of their ability to trust those who really do care and won't misuse their hearts and emotions. You deserve nothing good in this life or the next. Karma's a bitch, and I hope you rot in the hottest part of the deepest pit of hell.
2. Cooking. Who has the time, energy or gumshun to cook? Trying to make a meal for one and half really sucks. You either make too much and throw it out, or you have to eat it for a week, or you eat too much at one sitting. Plus, everything I make tastes like cardboard. Don't even get me started on cleaning it up. Yuck. There are very few things I hate more.
3. Laundry. As much as I like having clean clothes, I despise actually having to do laundry. While I've never really enjoyed it, it is made much worse by the fact that we live in a two-story house and it's such a PITA to carry a kid and clothes up and down the stairs every time you need to wash. What ends up happening is that I go as long as possible, then I've got 10 loads, feel overwhelmed, and end up walking through piles til I get those done, by which time I've got more to do and it's just an endless vicious cycle.
4. Arrogance, hypocrisy, and judgementalism. Let's face it - we all make bad decisions. We all do things that other people don't agree with, but neither you nor I have the market on all things right and good. Anything you've done is a 'bad' as anything I've done. If you're a Christian, your Bible even says so. Yet you sit in your ivory tower and cast stones down on people who don't agree with you or who have done things you in all your great wisdom have deemed to be wrong. That in and of itself is as bad as any of the "sinners" living below your tower.
I might not consider myself a Christian right now, but I grew up that way, and know what your book says, and Jesus himself came down harder on the Pharisees who were supposedly the 'religious' people of the day than he did on the woman at the well - who was a sinner by anyone's standard. If you really want to save the world, go love someone, don't turn your back on them because you don't agree with them. Don't shout how horrible they are and tell them they're on the fast track to hell. If you've sinned, you're as "bad" as anyone else. That's what your own book says. Read it and weep - then get over yourself.
5. Hate might be too strong a word for this...but it makes me sad to see women who don't try to breastfeed. No, I'm not a breastfeeding Nazi and I would never say anything to anyone who chose to not do that. But I do feel very strongly that it is a child's birthright to be nourished the way natured intended her to be. That is certainly not to say that mothers who don't are bad mothers or love their children any less. That's an arrogant, judgmental thing to say and you now know how I feel about that. I just wish more women would stick with it through the hard times, because we all have them. That's all.
6. Not having my happy pills. At first, I hated admitting to myself that I needed them, but I've come to realize that if my heart were bad, I'd take something for it. I need help to get through the day and not want to kill myself or someone else - to not feel depressed and panicky all the time. That I hate. Taking a pill everyday - now that's a piece of cake. It doesn't make me weak or crazy or less than anyone else. It just means that my brain needs the boost of seratonin to function like yours does, and believe you me, I'm happy to give it that - every day for the rest of my life.
7. Being bored. To be at work and not have anything to do, or have to do mundane things, drives me batty. See number 9 above. I like my brain to be used.
8. Bathing Rylee. For some reason, I just dread it. I love having her clean and I adore the way she smells, but it's just a pain. I know moms are supposed to like that, but I just don't. That's why it only happens every other day.
9. People who drive too slowly on the highway...Especially in the HOV lane. That lane should be reserved for people who are going to drive 10 miles over the speed limit, at the very least. DO NOT get in front of me in that lane and drive 65 miles an hour. Move your sorry ass over into the far right lane and get the hell outta my way.
10. Having a period. You men out there have no clue, so you can stop reading. But seriously, what is the point of ovulating every month, bleeding and smelling like a dead fish if you don't want kids? I've been doing this since I was 10 years old and I'm just about sick of it. I don't want kids right now, there's no reason I should ovulate. We should be able to flip a fertility switch somewhere in us that allows us to be fertile when we want to be and all the other times not even mess with it all. Ick.
