Cheese With Your Whine?
10.09.2005
I lost my virginity last nightMy hockey virginity. And I gave it up on the second date. Hockey is an interesting sport. What other sport has three periods?? And where else is it legal to fight until one person is down or bloody - excluding WWF or UFC or some such thing?
We had a good time and Rylee is all about hockey now. She kept saying it over, and over, and over. She was an angel. I expected it to be miserable because she was a crab yesterday, but we got there, she was entertained and had a good time. I am quite certain though, that I'm the only person to ever nurse an 18 month old at a hockey game!
The shitty part was before the game. What would be one of the worst things that could happen to my car? No, not getting stolen. That would be a blessing and I would be willing to pay a sizeable amount to make that happen? It would be to not have ANY headlights!!!
When we got to the arena, I pulled into the parking garage. I was going down the ramp and found a good spot that I was just a tad in front of. I spotted a car at the top of the ramp, but knew that I had enough time to get into my spot before it made it to where I was. But, as soon as I put mine in reverse the little Ford Ranger, sped up to me and got right on my ass not letting me back up at all. I turned on my blinker, rolled down my window and motioned to where I wanted to park, and he edged closer to my bumper. Frustrated, I muttered "jackass" under my breath and went on down and around.
Down and around turned out to be blocked off, so I again turn and make a left turn. Now FR is in front of me. I realized that we would be going the wrong way if we continued, so I put my car in reverse and look up, just in time to see the short-dick-motherfucker driving the Ranger put his in reverse, and FUCKING SLAM into me!!!!!!!
In shock at what just happened, I put my car into park and got out. The asshole made eye contact with me and sped off, going the wrong way up a one-way ramp. There were several cars and lots of pedestrians around. No one got his license plate number, but I talked to the attendant at the entrance to the garage, who had seen the whole thing. He got on his magic walkie-talkie and alerted all of the other attendants to be on the lookout for a gold Ford Ranger and to not let him out. We also called the cops and I talked to them for a while. They were certain that they'd find him.
So much for certainty. We got nuthin. NOT A DAMN THING!!! So I called the damn Gecko, and of course I have a thousand dollar deductible. My left headlight is hanging on precariously, ready to fall out at the first large bump I hit. My hood is warped and there's a dent in the bumper. ["Ladies and Gentlemen, Cassy is modeling our warped left font bumper and dangling headlight. It's all the rage this fall and looks lovely when paired with our somewhat retro missing right headlight from two seasons ago."]
I am so frustrated. I am a walking example of Murphy's Law. Who does this happen to? I mean really? Anyone else out there lost a headlight not once, but twice to hit and run motorists???
The cops asked what I wanted to do to him and I said "kill him." They didn't laugh at me. That's okay. I wasn't being funny.
