1.29.2006
Let me introduce you...To the coolest 13-year-old around:
That would be my niece, Taylor. And yes, that picture was blatantly stolen from my sister's blog. So there.
Rylee and I have had a rough week - probably the toughest on record. I'm struggling with needing my space, with cosleeping and with feeling like I'm just a boob to her. It really feels like the only thing she wants from me is to have her mommy milk. I'm just touched out. I need to have a few moments of someone not needing me.
It starts as soon as I pick her up at school. "Hold you, mama!" "Mommy milk" "Get up!" "Read book"...and on and on.
Several times this week, I have wanted to run far, far away. So, I've decided to start the weaning process. I'm very torn about it all. She still wants it - a lot - but I just don't think I can do it. Thursday night, it took until 10:30 to get her down because she would wake up every time I pulled her off. I. CAN'T. TAKE. IT. ANYMORE!
Officially, the day was yesterday. No mommy milk during the day, only when she's going to sleep and not during the night. Man, oh man, did I get a run for my money. She cried during the night for 2.5 hours!!!!! Mind you, I was right there, trying to comfort and cuddle, rub her back and sing (yes, we all know what she thinks of my voice, but still....), and it did not matter. About 20 minutes in, I was tempted to give in, but had to win the battle. After 2 hours, I was ready to slit my throat.
Today was a bit tough too, she asked for it and it took 30 minutes of crying to get her to nap. I'm so not looking forward to tonight. Ugh.
Back to Taylor.... Last night, Katie and Chris went out and I kept both of those cuties up there, Taylor and Conan, for them. Rylee had so much fun!!! Taylor was a lifesaver. She can entertain her better than I can anyday. Rylee was actually belly laughing - something that I haven't heard in a few days.
Today we got up and lounged around a bit and then at Taylor's suggestion, we cleaned out my car. Now, if you've ever taken a ride in my garbage-mobile, you know it's not exactly clean. Ever. But we tackled it and after I got all of the crap out of it, Taylor vacuumed it for me. I mean seriously vacuumed it. It probably took her over an hour to get it all done.
What other 13 year old would do that kind of thing...just because? And you should see her with these kiddos. She just gets it. And they love her.
It made me kind of sad to see how happy Rylee was with her. Only because I realized that she had been feeding off of my frustration this week and had just been a booger. (Speaking of boogers, I called her one this week, and she promptly proceeded to stick her finger up her nose, pull one out and say, "Pick booger!" Who teaches them this crap?)
I'm very blessed to have Taylor in my life. She's an awesome kid. She came into our lives as a spirited 6 year old. Fast forward 5 years and her daddy marries my sister and BAM! we're all a family. She's had a tough go of it in life. Talk about things not always being fair. But she's handled it well. She's doing great in school, and just brought home a straight A report card!!!
I'm so proud of her.
CRAP!! Mommy milk is calling. I'll finish this in a bit. Or 3 hours. Whatever it takes to get my munchkin to sleep. Ugh.
Um, yeah. Guess who just went to sleep without a fight??
That ends this rant. 'Night all.
