Cheese With Your Whine?
11.18.2005
Walk the lineYes, I want to see the movie, but no, that's not what this post is about.
It's about the line that you have to walk as a parent. That line between love and discipline, between fear and respect, between 'normal' toddler behavior and that which is unacceptable regardless of age.
And I've got nothing. I'm struggling like mad right now. Rylee hits. Sometimes when she's mad, sometimes just for the hell of it, and I don't have a clue how to get her to stop. I know that it is age appropriate, but I constantly worry that she'll be a bully.
I've been sitting her down when she does it, and explaining to her that it's not okay and that she has to be gentle. Probably like 10 times yesterday. Do you have any idea how tiring it is to do that? And it breaks my heart because she really is a sweet girl, most of the time and is very loving. So why the hitting?
I can't spank her. That makes no sense. "Rylee don't hit." WHACK! And I'm just fundamentally opposed to spanking anyway.
The problem is that I grew up in a house where spanking was the MO. That and instilling an all out terror of the authority figure. Neither one of those is something I'm okay with.
So how do you get your kid to respect, but not fear you? How do you get them to listen without spanking to immediately stop whatever they're doing at the moment? How do I get her to come when I tell her to, instead of laughing and running off?
She really is a good girl. I'm rereading this and it sounds like she's a monster. She is so far from that it's not funny. She's a great kid. A strong-willed, stubborn, Aries kid. And I love her for that.
I just tend to project things way into the future, and stress about how what I'm doing (or not doing) today will affect her in ten years. I just love her so much and don't want anything bad for her. I don't want the things I do to end up hurting her, whether it's intentional or not.
Such a conundrum to be a parent. There are no easy answers. I know the behavior I want her to have, but have no clue how to get her to act like that.
Here's another line I'm pondering crossing --
I'm very opposed to infant circumcision, on the grounds that it should be the man's choice whether he wants his penis altered from the way it was created. There's a reason men have foreskin and there's no medical reason to remove it. (Please no flaming about the issue...I'm just telling you how I feel about it.)
But I *really* want to pierce Rylee's ears. How's that different? I guess it's not, but if she doesn't want to wear earrings when she's older, she can just not wear them. It's not a matter of cutting something off that maybe she wants, and then having to wear weights to try and fake foreskin, ya know? But it's still not her choice and I'm changing her body from the way it was made. So should I do it or not? I don't know if I should or not, but I'm probably gonna!
I swear, I'm a walking contradiction today. Somebody make it stop!!
Note to brain: It's now time for you to shut down. You've done quite enough for one day. Seriously. Shut the hell up.
