Cheese With Your Whine?
11.29.2005
I am the QP!
That would be Queen Procrastinator, and oh, how I procrastinate! I really need to be packing my house right now so that I can move this weekend. But I'm not. I went and tried to beg some boxes off of Wal-Mart and got nothing, so it looks like I'm going to be stuck BUYING boxes from U-Haul. Brother.
But there is good news in my world! I found a house to rent today. The rent is low (considering...), and it's in a nice little neighborhood. Just a cute little 3-2-2, but I'm excited. The landlord is really nice and didn't care about my bad credit. All he wants to check is employment and past rental history, so I should be in! I'll know tomorrow for sure.
I start the new job on Monday and am finally getting really excited about it! It's been a long time coming. Considering that I got fired on November 1 and have only had one paycheck from when I temped for a week, I'm sucking shit like noone's business. Paychecks are a good thing.
Hopefully I'll be able to get ahead a little bit and finally not be living from one to the next. Hopefully. Seems like there's always something that wants to suck whatever little bit of extra coin I have.
In closing, let me just say one thing:
MATT, YOU'RE FREAKIN HOT!!!! YOWZAH, BABY!
To see more pics of my favorite Loser, go here.
Actually two things......to that apartment complex who was going to make me pay a $1050 deposit and then STILL maybe not rent to me, this is me telling you to kiss my fat ass:
:*()()
11.24.2005
Thankful ThursdayWelcome to the first ever installment of Thankful Thursdays on Me and the Punkin.
Today I'm thankful for :
1. The fact that my sister and BIL are here today instead of in Tulsa as planned, so that I can spend it with family. Sorry, sweet sister that you're here b/c you were puking your guts yesterday and couldn't make the trip.
2. Wonderful friends and the huge number of invitations to join them for Thanksgiving when I was going to be alone this year. I love you all. More than you know. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
3. Broncos vs. Cowboys! Go Broncos!!!!
4. Only paying $2.02 for gas yesterday
5. Pecan pie
6. Rylee's new daycare and the fact that she liked it when we visited yesterday
7. Lexapro
8. Car with two headlights
9. The awesomely comfy bed I just got out of
10. Getting to watch the parade for the first time with the girlie
11.23.2005
I gotta do something..I have decided to have a new feature on this here blog. Because I can't to SPF or WBW or FUG Thursday, because of my retarded camera, I thought I'd do this.
And because I'm having a hard time not being bitchy. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I honestly hate this time of year and dont want to be thankful. My life is upside down right now. I would much prefer to list the things going wrong, rather than come up with things I'm thankful for.
But I really believe in the power of positive thinking. I used to keep a Gratitude Journal and every night, I'd list 5 things for which I was thankful. It helped a lot. But since I am not going to blog about that everyday, you'll get to read Thankful Thursdays. Whoo hoo.
For now, I'm off to ponder the blessing in my life and come up with a list. ;-) And by the way, it won't be Rylee, Rylee, Rylee.
11.22.2005
ME Time!!Had me some of that yesterday. Kelly told me that Rylee told her that she needed help to make me a special Christmas present, so she would need to kidnap the Punkin for a little while. I called bullshit b/c I'm a scrooge and am not doing the holidays this year, but I sure as hell let her take her!
I had a gift certificate for a pedicure and eyebrow wax left over from my birthday in May, so I made good use of my time and went and got pampered. I even shaved my legs. However, I am noticing now that my feet are a bit hairy. I apologize to you, sweet lady, who had to rub them.
But, you should know - you who makes her living doing this kind of thing - that when a woman wants a brow wax, that's exactly what she wants. Not a half wax and half pluck. Don't semi thin my brows and then proceed to pluck the shit out of them. I can pluck at home if I want. I don't want. Also, please don't tell me that you can only rip one strip. I don't mind you waxing over an area you've already waxed if I still have caterpillars up there. Those tears streaming down my face mean STOP PLUCKING!!
Next time, do it all by waxing. Now I'm running around with still-thick eyebrows.
At least I have pretty toes.
Go read this post.
He read my list of 100 and decided that I was screwed up b/c I am pro-choice and anti death penalty.
Weigh in, please.
11.21.2005
I hope you're happyI hate dreams sometimes. Mine are always very vivid and emotional and often affect me the next day. It sucks.
Nate, you should be able to relate to this story somewhat. It's my version of what you're afraid of when it comes to dating up there in IA.
Anyway, I had a dream last night about the one I left in Oklahoma City when I moved south. He's honestly one of the best people I've ever met. He helped me a lot as I was leaving the hell that was my old life. I can honestly say that I don't know if I would be here today were it not for him.
He came and got me the first time I went out and got drunk - by myself - because I was hurting like mad and didn't know what to do. I had drank a margarita, tequila sunrise, some things with vodka and then took two shots of 151. Can you say fucked up? At that point in my life, I was lost and he was there. He was also my first. Over the course of two years he stood by me through my stupidity, and eventually we fell for each other. He was the sanity to the craziness that was my world.
While I was pregnant, he was there, fascinated by the whole miracle of pregnancy, and didn't mind that my body was changing and that I felt fat. Talk about loving someone unconditionally. Even though he knew that the punkin wasn't his, he loved her. Rylee recognized his voice when I was pregnant, and went crazy when she heard him talk. He would talk to her and pat my belly.
During the pregnancy, we became exclusive, and even talked about marriage. At the time I would have loved to have his ring on my finger. After the birth, we drifted apart a bit. I don't know if he was freaked out by what a baby really meant, or if it was me realizing that I wanted something more than what I had there. I decided that I needed a change and decided to move to TX to start over and we talked about moving together. But he's finishing his degree and trying to decide if he wants to be an architect or professional body builder. He's got an equally good chance at both.
I was not at all prepared to stay where I was and he couldn't move. I guess you could say that we did not love each other enough. That we knew it wasn't right - at least then.
We still talk every few months. We left 'us' at the point of living our lives, moving on and it if it's meant to be down the road it will happen. I'm sure it's not though. I'm a much different person than I was then. And he is too. But I'm okay with it. I've got a great life, a bit of romance back in it and I'm where I need to be.
Back to the dream. Last night I dreamed that he was getting married. While I'm not entirely looking forward to the day I hear that, I really do want him to be happy. And that's the problem; he wasn't. He was miserable, in fact and only getting married for the sake of getting married. I woke up in tears.
It made me miss him terribly and wonder what's really going on. I want to call and ask, but how psycho does that look? I think he'd understand, but I probably won't make the call. Maybe I'll shoot him an email.
I will always love him. I'm not in love with him - not even a little bit - but he will always have a part of my heart. He's an amazing person and I want the best for him. I hope he's happy.
*~*~*~UPDATE *~*~*~
NO, he is not about to be unhappily married! LOL. We had a great conversation and now I don't miss him. He's happy. Good for you, babe!
So I circumcised my daughter this weekend. ;-) And actually it was pretty easy. She only cried while I was actually holding her head so that they could pierce. Since then she's been walking around saying "Earrings, mama!" "Pretty earrings!" No regrets. She loves 'em! So do I. =D
A purple dot marks the spot.
Right ear....DONE!
The left matches...always a good thing. And quite an accomplishment with a squirming toddler!
Looking at them for the first time.
Special thanks to Aunt Katie for the picture taking! Love ya!
11.20.2005
We did it!And I'll have the pictures to prove it this afternoon! =D
11.18.2005
Walk the lineYes, I want to see the movie, but no, that's not what this post is about.
It's about the line that you have to walk as a parent. That line between love and discipline, between fear and respect, between 'normal' toddler behavior and that which is unacceptable regardless of age.
And I've got nothing. I'm struggling like mad right now. Rylee hits. Sometimes when she's mad, sometimes just for the hell of it, and I don't have a clue how to get her to stop. I know that it is age appropriate, but I constantly worry that she'll be a bully.
I've been sitting her down when she does it, and explaining to her that it's not okay and that she has to be gentle. Probably like 10 times yesterday. Do you have any idea how tiring it is to do that? And it breaks my heart because she really is a sweet girl, most of the time and is very loving. So why the hitting?
I can't spank her. That makes no sense. "Rylee don't hit." WHACK! And I'm just fundamentally opposed to spanking anyway.
The problem is that I grew up in a house where spanking was the MO. That and instilling an all out terror of the authority figure. Neither one of those is something I'm okay with.
So how do you get your kid to respect, but not fear you? How do you get them to listen without spanking to immediately stop whatever they're doing at the moment? How do I get her to come when I tell her to, instead of laughing and running off?
She really is a good girl. I'm rereading this and it sounds like she's a monster. She is so far from that it's not funny. She's a great kid. A strong-willed, stubborn, Aries kid. And I love her for that.
I just tend to project things way into the future, and stress about how what I'm doing (or not doing) today will affect her in ten years. I just love her so much and don't want anything bad for her. I don't want the things I do to end up hurting her, whether it's intentional or not.
Such a conundrum to be a parent. There are no easy answers. I know the behavior I want her to have, but have no clue how to get her to act like that.
Here's another line I'm pondering crossing --
I'm very opposed to infant circumcision, on the grounds that it should be the man's choice whether he wants his penis altered from the way it was created. There's a reason men have foreskin and there's no medical reason to remove it. (Please no flaming about the issue...I'm just telling you how I feel about it.)
But I *really* want to pierce Rylee's ears. How's that different? I guess it's not, but if she doesn't want to wear earrings when she's older, she can just not wear them. It's not a matter of cutting something off that maybe she wants, and then having to wear weights to try and fake foreskin, ya know? But it's still not her choice and I'm changing her body from the way it was made. So should I do it or not? I don't know if I should or not, but I'm probably gonna!
I swear, I'm a walking contradiction today. Somebody make it stop!!
Note to brain: It's now time for you to shut down. You've done quite enough for one day. Seriously. Shut the hell up.
11.17.2005
Princesses for the princessLast night we went with Erin and Dorothy to Disney's Princesses on Ice. It was a neat show and, much to Rylee's excitement we rode the train to the Arena. She loved the train and is still talking about it today!
It ended up being a pretty late night and we didn't even stay for the whole show. My poor girl fell asleep at the show, and slept the whole train ride home. She's so cuddly when she's sleepy.
She's been challenging lately. I'll post more about that later, but last night on the way home, I had a mommy moment and was so in love with her all over again. God, it's great!
11.15.2005
I'm itErin tagged me, so here goes. A little mindless blogging for a Tuesday evening!
7 things to do before I die
* See my grandkids
* Go to Paris, the Carribean, and the Mediterranean
* Get my pilot's license
* Become debt free (might take til I die)
* Sky dive
* Become fluent in French (rather than the bastardized version I speak in my head)
* Get a tatto (or several)
7 things I can not do
* Cook
* Stay on top of my laundry
* Change a tire or the oil in my car
* Speak French fluently
* Save money well
* Sew
* Stand being bored
7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
* Smile
* Eyes
* Hands
* Dry sense of humor
* Laugh
* Good table manners (If you smack your food, you will not get a second date. Period.)
* Not living with his mother!
7 things I say most often
* Shit
* Omigod
* Mama loves you
* What the fuck?
* Are you smoking crack?
* Rylee, come here
* Whatever
7 celebrity crushes
* Bon Bon (that would be Bon Jovi to most of you)
* Patrick Demsey
* Kenny Chesney
* Kirk Herbstreit
* Howie Long (I know he's old. Shut up.)
* James Denton
* John Mayer
11.14.2005
Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh.....That would be a big sigh of relief!
I got the final offer from D company today!!! Whoo hooo!!! Not *exactly* what I wanted, but still good money and a signing bonus to boot!!
Do you have any idea how good I'm feeling right about now???
11.13.2005
Look at me, Mom! I can paint!!Our bathroom is set up strangely. One of the drawers opens right in front of the door, so that if that drawer is open, it blocks the door from being opened all the way. You've got about 1.5 inches.
This morning we got up kind of late (funny how 7:00 is now late!), and just lounged and played a bit. I finally dragged us upstairs to get ready for the day, brushed our teeth, and got us cleaned up. I left the bathroom to go to my bedroom to put clothes on and assumed that Rylee followed me out.
Rule #1 of parenting: Never assume your kid will do what you think she should just because you think she should do it.
I got dressed and noticed that she wasn't behind me so I went to find her. She was in the bathroom, with the door shut. That is never good news, but I braced myself for what I might find and opened the door.
It stopped at 1.5 inches. Given that she was being very, very quiet, I knew we were going to have a problem. I asked her nicely to shut the drawer and open the door. No luck. I tried being stern. Nope, that didn't work either. After about 5 minutes of trying to no avail to get her to open it, and attempting to squeeze my fingers in and shut the drawer myself, I was just about ready to lose it. I got absolutely no response from her. No noise, nuthin. Nothing that is except a flash of a red finger nail polish bottle with the top removed.
Gah! At this point I was angry, not just frustrated, but angry!! Katie finally came over, somehow the door opened, and I discovered what a toddler can do with a bottle of red nail polish.
She had attempted to paint all of the toenails on her left foot. What she ended up painting her her entire left foot. There was polish all over her hands, my purple rug, on the door, and on the drawer.
Have you ever tried to get an entire bottle of red nail polish off of something? That shit gets thick. It took a good five minutes to get what we did off and there are still very obvious signs of her little adventure.
I suppose that I should just count my blessings and be thankful that she has the mental capacity to do such things, but good lord, what a mess!!!!
11.09.2005
Dear Rylee..I know you're having an awesome time with Katie this week, and God knows how great it was for her to offer to keep you while I'm temping and have no place for you to go. I mean, really, really, great of her. She loves you dearly and I feel completely comfortable leaving you with her anytime. Plus, I know the feeling is mutual and that you adore her too.
But please, please, when I spend all day away from you, then get a few hours at night, when I wake you in the morning with a "Good morning, sweet girl," don't let the first word out of your mouth be "Katie".
I can think of lots of words that would make me feel less like shit - mama, nigh-nigh, hold you - any of those would be fine. But please, not Katie.
Call me insecure, but it hurts my feelings. So let's not do that any more, k?
Please?
11.08.2005
Am I coming or going?I'd like to know.....
Well, I got a job temping for this week. It's kind of fun. I've not had to use my hard core technical accounting skills in a very long time. I'm actually learning stuff!
AND....
I got a call today that D company is going to outright hire me!!!! Don't know the details yet, but god, am I glad! Whoo hoo!!
I never did get around to posting pictures of Rylee's second Halloween costume, and these aren't great, b/c I can't get her to look at the camera, but here's my lil Dorothy!
And here are some from Conan's birthday this weekend. (courtesy of Kami...who ROCKS!)
Can you say 1.5 going on 13?
She loved this roller coaster thing!
Well, that's all I can do for now. It's good to be back in the blogging world. Helps me clear my head.
...that after almost 19 months of nursing that I'd be way over getting engorged to the point of having to go to the bathroom, kneel over the toilet and relieve myself.
Sheesh.
11.02.2005
Why me?Question 1:
Why did I get the coolest little girl around? Go ahead and argue with me and try to tell me I didn't, but I really did.
We play this game....if she's impatient, we count. It works in the car, when she getting her diaper changed (usually), and when she's frustrated in general. I guess I should say 'I' count. She just listens and laughs when I use silly intonations.
Well, tonight, when I was getting her jammies on, she counted to 5 all on her own!!! I couldn't believe it! I guess that just shows that they really are listening.
We have had an awesome two days together. She such a love bird right now and is always giving me kisses and hugs. Talk about making your world okay.
Question 2:
Why am I blessed to have such awesome friends? People who will agree to watch my punkin for a couple of hours with virtually no warning, so that I can run off and try to find gainful employment. People who have offered time and time again to be there and help out whenever I need it, whatever it is I might need.
If you know me at all, you know that I have a really hard time taking people up on that offer, but it's so great to have people who care. Makes it a little easier to deal, ya know?
I appreciate all the kind words yesterday, my blogging friends!
It's kind of strange.... Yesterday Kellie told me that she was taking me out to dinner to celebrate the fact that I was free from the BS that was my old company - that is kind of funny if you know the name of it, not so much if you don't.
Anyway.....I was driving there, worrying about whether or not I should be, since I have basically just enough money to fill up my car a few times and was struck with this overwhelming sense of peace. Call me crazy, but I 'know' things. I don't think I've talked about it here before and you can say what you like about it, but I do.
I'm not claiming to be psychic - not at all - but I have a very good sense that and when certain things will happen. I knew I was going to be fired yesterday. I tried to talk myself out of it on the way to work, but I knew. When I get a feeling like that it happens. I could give you lots of other examples, and you'd still probably think I'm crazy, so I won't.
Suffice it to say that I 'know' everything is going to be okay. I don't just think it. I know it. I have complete peace. I am fully aware that I'm going to start being late on everything, from my phone to car insurance to the car payment. Yep, I am. But that's just how it's going to be. Nothing I can do about it now, and I'm okay with it. My checking account will be overdrawn. Oh well.
I'm healthy. Rylee is healthy. I'm going to get a job. And I'm gonna love it!
I just know it.
11.01.2005
"I'm going to be blunt,"....…says Bossman on Friday.
“I know you’re looking for another job.”
Well, as a matter of fact I am. He wanted to know how much time they had left with me, how to make the transition smooth, etc. We came up with a plan. Yesterday I had the final interview in Ft. Worth with D company – the job that I really want. I was supposed to have an offer yesterday, but it didn’t happen.
I spent the day over there, and found a cute apartment and an awesome place for the Punkin.
When I didn’t hear back yesterday, I was pretty nervous, but I heard from my recruiter (“S”) that he liked me, but wanted a couple of days to figure out how to structure things for the long term. Doesn’t sound like good news to me.
I actually told Kellie on the way to work, that I thought he was going to fire me today, since I was gone yesterday. Dammit if I wasn’t right.
He comes in and asks if I have a job. I say no. He says, “Well I think we need to make this your last day.”
I thought about staying for a bit and leaving some things neat and tidy, but the more I thought about it, the angrier I got so I left him with this parting thought:
“You should have had the decency to respect the fact that I was going to give you a two weeks notice.”
I had many other choice words I wanted to say, but I left them unsaid.
I’m angry at him, but I’m even more angry at whoever thought it would be okay to call my current employer and tell them that I was looking for a job.
S called a little bit ago and said that she thinks she can get me in at D company as a contract employee until they can get the red tape cut to hire me permanently. I hope so.
In the meantime, I guess I’ll enjoy my free time with the girly. And panic.