Cheese With Your Whine?
4.29.2006
Into the bathroom we go!We had some nasty Texas spring weather here last night. When they announced that a tornado was going to hit us in 10-15 minutes, my neighbor called and said she didn't want Rylee and me to be here by ourselves and that we should go to her house. Okay. We went.
I spent 30 minutes in a 1/2 bath with three kids - one of which had to go potty RIGHT NOW! because he had diarrhea - and two dogs - one of which decided she had to piss on the floor.
That was the longest 30 minutes of my life. Kid shit, dog pee and sweat from being hot as hell.
Good times. Good times.
The upside is that the tornadoes missed us, but that's not my idea of a fun Friday night.
4.28.2006
Thank you, Dr. P!For the happy pills and the Ambien. You rock.
Now to the rest of you, here's my PSA:
Do NOT under any circumstances quit taking anti-depressants cold turkey. I have been M.I.S.E.R.A.B.L.E. My heart's been doing this crazy dance, I've been light headed, feeling like I was going to faint, PLUS all that shit that you take that beautiful little pill for. It's been three weeks and I will beg, borrow, steal, or perform sexual favors before I do that again.
So, um, Kami, I thought I was going to get to wait til my kid was 3 like Nik was when he uttered those glorious words, but nope.
This morning, in the rush to get us out the door, my kid dumped the entire contents of my purse on the floor and said:
"Rylee made a mess. Mommy clean it up."
I love being a maid. I really do.
***
Here's another thing that made me go "Huh?"
My resume is out there on car#eerbuilder.com. So this guy calls me and wants someone with my exact experience in government cost accounting. My skill set is an exact match. The pay is AWESOME and there's all kinds of bonuses involved. Big ones.
Here's the kicker. It's in KUWAIT. Am I crazy for even considering moving to the Middle East for a year to make some serious coinage and then come back home? BTW, much of that income is TAX FREE.
4.24.2006
I'm in love with two little girlsOne has two legs, stands about 29 inches tall, weighs somewhere around 25 pounds, has dark curly hair and is asleep in my bed.
The other has 4 legs, stands 12 inches tall, weighs about 10 pounds, is black with white on her nose and feet and is curled up in my lap.
Did I really just get a lap lizzard?
4.23.2006
Sorry, RyleeYou know how after you sneezed today, you said, "I peed!" Well, it just doesn't get any better.
Wait til you pop a kid out. I have to cross my legs on a regular basis.
4.22.2006
Dear Mr. Nudie:You are, what....50 years old? Thought so. So it grosses me out to hear you talk about living in a nudie camp, walking around naked, dancing 'cheek to cheek', and partying with other naked old people.
Do you REALLY think I'm going to bring my kid out there this summer? Because as much as I hate wearing clothes, I just cannot see myself partying naked with someone I have to work with.
So stop asking. Please. For God's sake....QUIT ASKING!!!
4.20.2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ERIN!!Click on over and give a big Blogger Happy Birthday shout out to Erin!!!
Love ya, girlie!!!
4.19.2006
Dear Dr. A,Listen. Remember when I came to see you a year ago and you put me on Lexapro? Yeah, I still need it. BAD.
So when I call your office and tell them that I need a script so that I can function and not want to kill myself or someone else, fucking write it.
No, I do not have a Dr. in my new town. No, I am not under the care of a psychiatrist. If I were would I be calling you? And since when does going 8 months without seeing an OB mean you're no longer under said Dr.'s care? I see you once a fucking year!!
I cannot come in for an appt. I live in BFE and I work, which means your office is not open when I can come see you. I do not have time to take off of work to go see another doctor, either.
You're going to force me to go to some online Canadian pharmacy for my drugs. You KNOW I need it. Just write the goddamn prescription.
Bitch.
4.17.2006
You know you tell your kid to come here too much........when she says to the yellow crayon that rolled away from her:
"Yellow, come here. Right now. When I say come, you come."
...when someone brings you your very own bottle of Jagermeister to work.
4.15.2006
Scenes from a 2-year old birthday
My girl's one request - party hats!!
What party is complete without an inflatable birthday cake in the front yard??
Or bounce house in the back??
This trick raised some interesting questions about what exactly the Punkin sees mommy do. Nothing that fun, I can assure you.
Every girl needs a hula skirt to go over her bikini, no?
See the pretty picture our Aunt Katie made for her?
That cheeseball grin makes my life so sweet!
God, I love that kid.
We had a really great day, but I'm glad it won't be time for another party for a year. I need some time to recoup! I'm exhausted, the Punkin is out, and she is now the best dressed girl in Texas, thanks to all the new duds she got today.
We are a couple of very blessed girls. Most of those other mommies got in their cars and drove to B-Freaking-E to come to our little shindig, and it was a blast. Thanks to all of you guys who shared our day.
Rylee, thanks for being such a sweet girl. You were a trooper today...happy even though you didn't have a nap. You rock! I really did get the best girl.
4.11.2006
12:26 pmMy girl will be 2 whole years old in about 12 hours. Wow.
I am kind of mushy as I sit here and remember the night before she was born. I was living in Oklahoma City and Katie came over from Stillwater to stay the night. We went to dinner at Mimi's and shared some kick ass meatloaf. She was 10 weeks pregnant with Conan.
After that we went to watch Ladykillers. (If you haven't seen it don't waste your time.) Then we went back to my apartment and talked for a while and then she went to bed. I couldn't sleep.
I remember feeling very bittersweet about the events of the next day. I was filled with excitement and sadness. Excitement to finally get that little booger here and figure out what it would be like to be a mom.
Sadness because I felt like I was in a way losing something. In a few hours I would 'have to' share her with the rest of the world. I would never feel her kick and move inside of me again. She would no longer hear my every breath and heartbeat. No more restless nights of trying to find a comfortable position to lie in because there was a head in my ribs (the breach little stinker) or foot on my bladder. No more would she be just mine.
She got hiccups for the first time at about 3:00 that morning.
I loved being pregnant. I was never alone. And at that point in my life when I was alone in so many other ways, knowing that I always had her with me and could talk and sing and cry to her was awesome in the truest sense of the word. Really and truly awesome.
I knew that while she was inside of me that I could protect her - from the evil in the world, from heat, cold, and pain. And the idea that after she was born, knowing I would lose some of that ability scared me. And it still does. She is her own person now. I can't be with her all the time.
Being a mom is such a strange thing. It is rewarding beyond belief. But it is also scary as hell. It's frustrating too. No one tells you that when you're pregnant and even if they did, you wouldn't get what they mean anyway.
I can't imagine my life without my girl. She's such a little person now. I mean a PERSON. She has a mind of her own. She can tell me what she wants and doesn't want. She can give me kisses, tell me she loves me and that I'm beautiful, and then in the next moment scream for me to put her down or chuck her juice cup across the room because she's mad about something. I can talk to her on the phone.
I want to do right by her and there are times that I am struck with a profound sense of unworthiness and inadequacy. Am I really all she needs? Is she going to be okay without her donor in her life? What if I try really, really hard and still screw up?
I don't have all the answers to those questions. All I know is that I love her. So much that I can't breathe sometimes. So much that there are times I wish I could put her back in my tummy so that I can protect her and she will never feel the pain of being picked on or having her heart broken. I also love her so much that I can't wait to see what she becomes and who she is as an adult.
Thank you, sweet girl for being who you are. Thank you for kisses in the morning, hugs in the evening and cuddles at night. Thank you for being the bright spot in my world and the only reason I can think of to get out of bed in the morning some days.
I love you. You'll have no idea how much until you give me grandbabies and hold your own little ones.
I'm trying, girlie. I'm trying to do right. I screw up and am going to continue to. Hang in there with me. And know that I love you. God, do I love you.
4.10.2006
What's a girl to do?Yesterday, Rylee was watching Finding Nemo and said this:
"Nemo's daddy. Where's Rylee's daddy?"
Um.
I'm prepared to answer questions when she's 12 or 15 or 20, but 2?
How do I tell her why she's the only one of her friends who doesn't have a daddy?
4.02.2006
I so heart my kidLately Rylee has been jabbering up a storm. Here are a few of the most recent gems.
**In the back of the car, in her carseat, she'll yell loud enough for the whole county to hear, "I'm stuck in here!" Over and over and over.
**Tonight she was running around naked after the poop incident and was playing with a stuffed tiger. She was putting it in her stroller and saying, "Good night, tiger. Have good sleep. See you tomorrow."
**While she was 'helping' me cook in the way only a toddler can, she looked up and saw the plates in the open cabinet abover her and said, "I need a plate. Cassy, it's right there."
**The other day I told her to "Come on, chica." She looked at me and said, "You're chica." Okay.
**Somehow she has picked up on the word fart. Now this is not a word I say. I will say pretty much everything else in the book, but fart just grates on me. But someone she's been around says it (and when I find you I will wash your mouth out with soap), so when she 'tooted' the other day, she looked at me and said, "Rylee fart. You fart, Mom."
**She calls me Mom a lot now, instead of Mama or Mommy or even Cassy (which she says a lot). It's kind of funny but makes me realize she's growing up on me. Mom. The little fart.
**This girlie has one request for her birthday part. Party hats. And she asks for them every day. "Birthday. Party hats." So when all it takes to make your kid happy is a silly paper hat, you can bet your ass we will ALL be wearing party hats.
She is just such a cool kid. Sometimes I get frustrated and feel like all I do all day is clean up one mess after another. There are times when I wish I could pee in private. I have moments when I want to run away, even if it's just for 15 minutes to regroup and catch my breath.
But she is the single best and most rewarding thing in my life. I love her. It sounds so simple to say, but that's just the truth. I. Love. That. Kid.
Conversation with my almost two year old:
Rylee (coming from her bedroom where she is watching Dora while I'm trying to work): Look, Mom!
Mom (stopping to look at her hand she's proudly waving in the air): What is it?
Mom (after making the mistake of getting close enough to see - and smell - her hand): Is that poop?
Rylee: Yeah!
Mom: Did you wipe it somewhere?
Rylee (just proud as punch): Uh huh.
Mom: Where did you wipe it?
Rylee: Mommy get up. Rylee's bedroom.
I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
4.01.2006
The countdown is on!Yep, it's t-11 days until that baby girl of mine is 2!! I cannot believe that it has gone by so fast.
Katie did her invites and they are sooo cute! I'll have to post them so that you can see the proof that all of the creative genius in the family went to her.
We're going to M-Town today to finish up with addressing the invitations and hang out with Katie and her crew.
I've got a ton of work to get done this weekend. Work sucks. Big time.