Cheese With Your Whine?
7.05.2006
We've landed...Kuwait is gorgeous. I love it, love it, love it.
6.25.2006
Two more days!By about 11:00 am Texas time on Wednesday we will be starting our new life in Kuwait. I'm beyond excited.
The past couple of weeks have been tough. Fortunately, I have wonderful friends who've let us crash with them while we are waiting to go. Rylee came up to me crying the other day because she wanted to go home. It's kind of hard to explain to a 2-year old that we don't have a home any more, but soon we'll fly across the world and have a new home. We were supposed to be there the 15th, but blah, blah, blah, visa, blah, blah, blah and we're still here.
Kellie and I have had a good time. We took the girls to a Texas Rangers game last week and we've been spending quite a bit of time at the pool. That Mexican Rylee's got in her is shining through in nice dark brown fashion. I would kill to be able to tan like that (and yes, I'm paranoid about sunscreen and she still tans).
I just can't believe that this is really going to happen. Kuwait here we come. With our Benedryl and Xanax.
6.24.2006
I HATE YOU BLOGGER!!I had a huge long post typed out and when I went to publish it, it disappeared.
FUCKING HOOKER ASS BITCH.
Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.
6.14.2006
I have the best friends EVER!So we came back to M-Town last night for what I thought was going to be a few drinks with my girl Ms.Dallas K, but I walked into a surprise going away party!!!
I feel so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. Kami mentioned a while ago on her blog that Dallas bitches are the best. And they are. We've been here two years and I have met the most wonderful group of women. Ya know those people who know all the crazy things you've done and love you anyway? Those people who might think you're nuts for going to Kuwait, but support you just the same?
Go check out the pics on Kami's website. I tried to steal some and post them but Blogger is being a HAB. The cake was AWESOME. And I got the hook up with phone cards. =)
I love you girls, and I am going to miss the shit out of you. Thanks for everything. You really have no idea how much you mean to me and my girl.
6.12.2006
Hurry up and wait...Well, I'm out of the house, my bags are packed, my passport is here and it looks like our departure is going to be pushed off at least a week.
GAH.
6.05.2006
How do you tell a 2-year old...Why her puppy left to go to a new home and is not coming back. Friday Missy got a new home, and my sweet girl cried buckets. Then yesterday she says, "Missy's all done at her new home. She'll be right back!" No, sweet girl, she won't. Gah. It rips a mommy's heart out.
Oh, and remember Allison? Well, now she's talking about someone else - Dena. And she's scared of her. She's run to me several times saying that she scared, just out of the blue. When I ask her why she's scared she tells me she doesn't want to see Dena. I asked her where she is and Dena is at school. She's a 'teacher'. All the way to school this morning, she SCREAMED "No school. No see Dena."
So, of course my first question is "Who's Dena?" Well, there IS no Dena at school. NO ONE. WTH is going on??? I was freaked out a bit by Allison, but if she's seeing scary things, it REALLY bothers me. I just don't know what to do about it.
I think I'll put a call in to my friend's medium and see if she can clue me in.
5.31.2006
Wow.That's really all I can say for all that's going on in my life right at the moment. I got THE JOB!!! We will be heading overseas for a year on the 13th or 15th.
I'm nervous, happy, sad and excited all at the same time. Do you have any idea how draining it is to feel all those emotions at one time?
So, yesterday was my birthday and it always gets me to thinking. I wonder how I got to 28 years old and still feel like such a kid sometimes. Remember when you were growing up and you could just imagine how cool it would feel to be all grown up? Well, I'm still waiting for that feeling. That I've-got-it-all-figure-out feeling that I was just *sure* I was going have by this point in my life. That I'm-mature-and-don't-do-stupid-things attitude that I thought I saw in my mom. I still laugh when Rylee toots and I think bathroom humor is funny. I get silly and sad and moody just like it I did at 12.
This was not the plan for my life. I was not supposed to be a single mom. No way. No how. Hell, I wasn't even supposed to be a mom at all. I was a career woman. I was going to have my own custom built house, a fat 401(k) and a sweet little car by this point in my life. I'm supposed to be flitting around the country giving presentations and blessing people with my wisdom. I should be a VP by now. THAT was the plan. Not to be a single mom, struggling to make it from pay check to pay check, scared at times, and haunted by a past that was chosen for me. I shouldn't have to be faced with never having another Christmas with my mom because she chose a sick man over me and my daughter. My daughter shouldn't have to live her life without grandparents.
Nope this certainly is NOT how it was supposed to go. I shouldn't know the joy that comes from watching a two year old make a discovery, or hearing "I yub you, Mommy", or getting to kiss owies. I was not supposed to be brought to my knees by this sweet/ornery/loving/stubborn little person that I created. I never imagined having the sort of friends in my life that I do - people who know everything about me and love me anyway. I didn't think that I could feel complete being single at 28. I ceratinly couldn't imagine landing a job like I just did and embarking on the adventure of a lifetime with the best little girl in the whole world.
It's just not the plan. Nothing about my life is how I pictured it. But I wouldn't trade it. If I traded my childhood I wouldn't have Rylee because I wouldn't have been at the point in my life I was at when I got pregnant. And the thought of not having her makes my heart nearly stop with pain. She IS the great redemption in everything that has happened to me and the decisions I have made - good, bad or otherwise.
Life sometimes is cruel. It's not fair and it's not easy. Not at all. But it's also surprisingly rewarding, rich, and wonderful. And that part is just as unexpected as the bad that life throws at us.
