Cheese With Your Whine?
9.30.2005
Want one of these?Found this last night browsing at The Onion with the caption "Carhartt Introduces Rugged Work Thong". I now share for your viewing pleasure.
9.29.2005
And one more makes THREE!!!!Three times my girl has been bitten at daycare in three months. So, Mama, I guess we're in the same boat again. (Actually, it's teh at Rant & Ravin' Haven. Sorry for the mixup ladies!! Baby brain strikes again!) F, F, F-ity, F!!!!
I'm glad now that she's going to Deanna's tomorrow. I don't get it. They said that Rylee had a toy that the other child wanted. Ummm...why isn't someone watching them better??? I'm going to have a chat with the director tomorrow. Jesus, it pisses me off!!!
Tomorrow night, we're going over to Trophy Club to spend the night with Kellie and Alana and then get up and go to the big TC garage sale. I've heard you can get some serious bargains. I'm on the hunt for a white big girl bed for the punkin. When we move in January, it's "Adios!" to the crib. My friend's mom is making her a homemade quilt with her name on it for Christmas. I canNOT wait. We're going to go get material next weekend, I think. This woman's quilts are amazing.
Again, I am the QP and must still pack and prepare all of Rylee's goodies for tomorrow at a new place. I've gotten quite spoiled to school just having everything she needs and my not needing to pack diapers, etc.
It's 9:30, which is so going on my bedtime these days, so I'd better get at it.
BTW, if anyone has an extra couple of tickets to Wicked here in Dallas, I'd make ya a hell of a deal on them. I and a (special) friend are wanting to go and they are either sold out or waaaaayyy expensive. (not that I expect anyone to really have some they'd like to get rid of, but still... I'm not yet going to go the eBay route. Makes me nervous for something like this.)
Thanks to Kami for this little post. Here's the game:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.
From 7.15.2005
"I just freakin miss that little thing. "
I'm tagging, but not linking to your blogs, so Kellie, Kelly, Heather B, acumamakiki, and Dorothy, get at it!
Today went well. The lady I interviewed with was "highly impressed." So, now she's going to forward my resume on to a couple of other people and I *may* hear back tomorrow morning. Otherwise it'll be next week.
Turns out that after I got in there and told her more about me and my experience, that there are actually two jobs that she thinks I'd be a good fit for. One is a Controller position with one of their subsidiary companies and the other is a Staff Accountant position at the main company. The pay on the Controller position is quite a bit higher than the other one, which is already 20% more than I'm making right now - which would add up to quite a bit more a month considering how I get paid. You have no idea what a relief it would be to make that kind of money and not have to stress about it anymore. Not that I'll never stress - I seem to be pretty good at spending what I make, but you know what I mean.
I'm so bad about getting my hopes up and then being disappointed. Must be patient and not count on anything yet.
Keep crossing for me, guys!
Is it weird to think you know someone just from reading their blog? Last night I dreamed that K was on Jay Leno talking about acupuncture and I was watching with my sister and I was so excited. I started saying, "OMG, I know her! Well, I don't really know her, but I sort of do. Well, I read her blog anyway." Bizarre b/c I don't even watch Leno, certainly not with my sister. Just for the record, though, your hair was cut like you are thinking about and it looked good!
Anyway, Rylee is evidently not a fan of the whole picture taking scene, because she cried for the photographer. Hmmmppppff.
In other news....I guess turnabout is fair play because on the way to work yesterday I was rear ended just like I rear ended that white Impala a couple of weeks ago. I was stopped at a light and the dude just smacked me. I got out, and he said, "I'm so sorry. I just wasn't paying attention." Yeah, I know how that goes.
I am so nervous for this interview today. I don't know why. I am usually not nervous about things at all. I'm fairly confident and I know I can do that job, so I guess I just really want outta here and would like the pay increase. I hope, hope, hope it goes well.
I went yesterday at lunch and looked at apartments over on this side of town. I really like them and they will *probably* have the one I'd like available in January, which is the soonest I can move. The really nice thing about it is that there is a Primrose right across the street that is owned by the same folks who own the one that Rylee is at now. It's set up a bit differently, but it's still pretty much the same.
I also on the way home from work yesterday stopped and interviewed a woman who has a home daycare. She was awesome! I really liked her and her setup, so I'm going to have Rylee try it out tomorrow. I'm kind of (no, okay, a lot) torn about it. I mean, there are advantages and disadvantages to both a center and a home environment. Plus, this woman is basically a stranger, so it feels very irresponsible to think about leaving my kid there, ya know? But she is licensed and has been doing this for 24 years. Also, there are two cops who have their kids there, so I'm thinking that if there were something awry, surely they would know and not leave their kids. She is a lot cheaper than Primrose, so that would be nice, but I'm not willing to have my daughter (read entire world) some place just because it's cheaper. She's worth whatever it takes to have her at the second best place for her (first best being with me!). So we shall see. I've been talking about Ms. Deanna with her, even though I'm sure she's not getting it. I just hope she has an okay day. The really nice thing about it is that it's 15 minutes from my work - 45 to an hour and half. So I love that.
Alrightee..I guess I should get back to work. Bossman is not here today. Whoo hoo! This guy just kills me. Yesterday he hollers at me - no he can't even use that thing called a telephone or get himself up and come talk to me - to come into his office for a minute. Know what he wanted? To show me pictures from his vacation of a lifetime to Costa Rica. 45 minutes worth!!!! I so don't feel bad about wasting little bits of time here and there online when he pulls that crap.
Signing off and hoping that I can put in my notice very soon....
9.28.2005
Say Cheese!Today is picture day at Rylee's school. Who knew that 17 month olds needed school pictures? But I got her all gussied up and will probably open my wallet for some. I put her in a sweater and jeans, even though it was 79 freakin degrees at 6:30 this morning. Can you believe that shit? I did however send a more weather appropriate outfit for after the event. ;-)
Can you imagine if that were your job - trying to get all these little kids to 1) sit still 2) smile and 3) not lose your ever luvin mind? So not for me.
Oh, and I forgot to add that I've got an interview tomorrow at lunch. More $$ and not this jackass. Maybe another one, but not *this* one. Cross your crossables for me.
9.27.2005
I bite backToday bossman and I had it out. He was giving me shit about something and I defended myself in fine fashion. It was loud and cleared out the whole office. But in the end, he told me that he is glad that I'm not afraid to state my opinion to him and that he thought our "discussion" was productive.
Made me feel better, so if that's the definition of productive, I guess it was.
9.26.2005
There IS good in my worldAnd that is my punkin. God, I love her. No matter how shitty the day was - and believe me, today ranks way up there on the shitty scale - she still loves me.
Tonight after I fed her a delicious meal of a hot dog and applesauce (I didn't eat b/c I was still too pissed off at jackass), we sat down on the couch. A little bit later, I went and got myself my healthy dinner of Applejacks and toast. Rylee of course can let no good milk-filled bowl go unexplored, so she joined me on my lap and ate some too. I had a mommy moment then and sat there smelling her hair and rubbing her back and just telling her I love her. She took a bite and laid back on me and gave me a huge hug. I think she knew I needed her. What a cool kid.
When we were finished sharing cereal, I told her that I was going to go put our paper toast plate in the trash. She looked at me and said, "I'll do it!" Three word sentences? Check. I know she's supposed to do all these things, but when she has actual conversations with me, I get a little freaked out.
I was telling Kellie tonight that there are still times I can't believe she's my little person. And she's becoming such a big girl, with all her words, and expressions, and silliness. I'm in tears for a totally different reason tonight than I was this morning. I never imagined that as far into being a mom as I am that I'd still be in awe of that little girly and still get choked up and boo hoo bawl just because. Does it ever go away, or only get better? I hope it's the latter.
I didn't think I could love her any more than I did those first few days. But I do. I never imagined that I'd be more 'into' her than I was then. But I am.
G'night punkin. Mommy loves you.
What I would like to say to bossman about his big ass head/ego because he thinks that everyone should bow before him and his great advice!!! He's killin me today!!!!!
B: "I'm not bragging, but I've worked at some really well run companies and I know what I'm doing, so I'm going to be picky, but I can tell you this: If you ever go anywhere from here, you'll be very well prepared."
C: [smiling and nodding, trying not to gag]
B: "I will teach you how the best companies in the world do things."
C: [more smiling and nodding; no words coming out in order to prevent vomit from spewing]
B: "I'm not saying I'm the best, but I was taught well, and you will be prepared to go elsewhere. You probably won't ever want to, but if you do, you'll be a great find."
OMG!!! I swear the man thinks he can walk on water. Get over your damn self and leave me alone. I guess the best also promise bonuses and don't pay them, huh??
I'm not saying there aren't things I don't know. How retarded would that be?? I've got a lot to learn and I really do enjoy watching good people and taking what I can from them to make me better. But I can't stand his attitude of walking around blessing the rest of us with his presence and wisdom. HURL!!! I was already pissed off, because of this morning and I think he knows it. Good. I want nothing more than to flip him the bird on my way to another job.
Okay, no more venting about work today. I'd better get busy making that 'matrix' (read f'n spreadsheet that he can't even figure out how the hell to open and work) that "the best" do.
Some crazy lady just walked in her with an open can of beer and made a total ass of herself. Good times.
Asshole. I do all the accounting here at this place. All of it. I 'am' the accounting department. So I asked bossman, given that I know I'm not the only one who has a problem with this whole getting paid every week thing, if we could have two payroll options - paying on the 1st and 15th or weekly. Or make the salaried people paid one way and hourly another. We salaried people are the ones who have a hard time with it.
He said no. Again, I am the only one who's workload changes at all because of this and it takes about 10 minutes to do payroll. I just don't get it. His reply was "You all can figure out how to budget yourselves." Umm...that's really easy if you make as freakin much money as he does. He doesn't even need a budget. He could skip three months wages and not feel it. Shit, he could skip a year and not feel it. This is from the man who stood in my office on Friday and told me how wealthy he is.
I'm so angry and I'm in tears - not very professional, I know - but I don't give a shit. Maybe I shouldn't be in the position that a few hundred dollars a month makes such a big difference, but I am and there's not a damn thing I can do about it right now. If he were paying bonuses like he said he would this wouldn't be an issue.
9.23.2005
Money ventSo, over on Sticking to the Point, Ms. K was talking about how hard it must be to be a single mom. Honestly, it's okay. I just do it. But it got me thinking about what IS hard.
The one thing that I have the hardest time with is the money side of single parenthood. I despise the stress of being fully responsible for every dollar that comes into my little family. The really sucky thing right now is that I get paid once a week. That means that most months I bring in 4X dollars, but some months I bring in 5X. Well, in the 4X months, I just don't make it. When I set my budget I based it on being paid 12 equal amounts - not this bullshit. So most months, I'm ending up short by about .5X. It stresses me out, man. Then the other months (only one of which I've seen since I started this job) I'm up. That month, I had some medical things I had to take care of.
The other thing that bites about already being down almost every month is that there's not reserve for things like, oh, brakes! I'm just sick of worrying. I really thought that when I started here, things would be better and for a while it would be, but now that I'm seeing the pattern and how the cash actually flows, it bites - big time.
I really need to find another solution for Rylee. She loves where she is and I really don't want to move her, but $900/month is killing me. And that's about the norm around here. The cheapest other place I found was $650 and I wouldn't leave a dead dog there. Besides that, the best solution was $750 and I had to pack lunches. I know me and having to do that every day would just add stress. I do well to get us both out of the house, dressed and awake by 6:30, without having to remember a lunch - even if I became organized enough to pack it the night before. And it would cost something. Maybe not all of that $150 I'd save, but something.
I'm just stressed out. And that I hate. So I pay all that so that I can leave her somewhere while I'm gone for 11 hours at job with a boss who's a flake and that's not really paying me what I need how I need it in order to make it. And all that bonus money he promised me??? He now says he's not paying it for a year. Well, I sure as hell counted on the number he told me I'd make in bonuses to really be okay. A year, my ass.
So, yes, I'm still on the hunt for another job. I've actually thought about getting my teaching certification and teaching HS English or math. The hours are great, you get awesome vacations. They are paid well in TX. I've actually done the math and because the schools have child care centers there that charge $150 a month, I could take a $10K annual paycut and be UP $300 a month, if I'm not making bonuses here. How screwed up is that?
Money sucks.
9.22.2005
Meteorologist CassyApparently, that is now a new job function. Since I got here at 7:30 this morning, I have been asked about 14 times what that hurricane Rita is going to do.
"Are we going to lose power?"
"How much rain will we get?"
"Are the winds going to be 'real' strong?"
"What's going to happen if we don't have power on Monday?"
"Can you show me the path again on your computer - is it that internet thing?"
How the hell should I know all this stuff? And then I get this: "Go right now and fill up your car. Gas prices are going to be up over $3.50 very soon." Yeah, yeah. I'll go at lunch. I don't doubt that they will go up. They've already gone up 15 cents since I got to work this morning. Bastards. But there is no reason for mild panic to set in.
CHILL OUT, PEOPLE!!! We will be fine, even if we end up in the dark. Buy some freakin batteries and bottles of water and calm the hell down!
9.21.2005
Huh?I just had this conversation with one of the guys here:
G: "How do I make that copy thing work?"
C: "You mean the copy machine?"
G: "Yeah that."
C: "Just put the paper upside down in the feeder on top and push start."
G: "Oh, I get it. You mean I have to put the paper in first?"
Yeah, you do that.
I made it to the doctor yesterday b/c I left a bit early. Sure as shit she's got pink eye in BOTH eyes. I would have loved to try the OTC stuff, but I wouldn't have been able to send her back to school with just that. As it was, they told me she had to be on medicine for 24 hours before she could come back. God love our ped because he said there was no reason she couldn't go to school today. So, armed with a note from the doctor and a $50 bottle of drops that's no bigger than a quarter she went to school. I hope she's okay and not hurting or fussy. I hate *hate* leaving her when she's not at her best. Mommy guilt. In waves.
My boss would have had a hissy fit if I hadn't shown up today. He's been gone for a week, which means he's going to be in here all day with stuff.
I did a silly thing....Rylee wakes up sometimes in the night and just wants to suck - not really nurse; there's nothing there - but just wants the suck action. So I popped in a binky and it worked. I might regret it, but it seems worth the sanity and not having chapped boobs. This morning she wanted it in the car. So at the time most moms are weaning from it, I'm giving it to her. If she just wants it in the car and for sleeping, I'm okay with it. She's not going to have to have it walking around all the time. The crazy thing is, she's always kind of played with them, but could really just sort of take it or leave it and never HAD to have it.
I've created a binky baby at 17 months. Heaven help us.
9.20.2005
Pink eye =(I just got a call from the director at Rylee's school and they think she's got pink eye again. I noticed some goop in her eye last night and put some drops in for her, but it must have gotten worse. Poor girl. I guess I'll be heading to Acute Kids tonight after work. She said it's really bothering her. Geez, I wish our ped was open after freakin 5:00. I think I'll skip out a bit early and head over there. Like now.
9.18.2005
The four stages of drunkeness1. Tipsy
2. Buzzed
3. Duh-runk!
4. F'd up
Let me just say that I experienced stage 4 in all of it's splendor and glory last night. When we got to Stillwater, we went to Anna's dad's house. I was struck by how different things look as an adult compared to how they do as a teenager. I remember that house being HUGE. Now, this is not a tiny thing at all, but I remember the kitchen looking about the size of a football field. Ummm, not so much.
But I digress. We got there and chatted for a bit and then we went to her mom's house where we made plans for the evening. After much coaxing, I was convinced to leave Rylee with Anna's super sweet (even if somewhat ditzy) stepmom (just for the record, I do know her....and my mom worked with her for years, so she's not a stranger), so that we could go to the game as a group of adults. I had huge mommy guilt as we walked out the door. A phone call a few minutes later assured me that the punkin was indeed okay and happily playing with Jack, Anna's nephew. So I decided to enjoy myself. And that I did!
I have not been that drunk in a long time. We were lucky enough to get tickets in the club area and there were not one, but at least two full bars. Vodka press, anyone? Actually, I didn't get presses the first time. For those of you who don't know, a press is the vodka, Seven-up and soda. Don't feel badly if you don't know that because the bartenders made my first two with vodka, Segram's 7 and sprite. Not quite the same. After the game we hit a couple of bars on the strip and I had some beer, more vodka and I think we did at least one shot...it's all kind of blurry. We got back at about 2:00, and I was fortunate to crash in a luxurious bed that belongs to the stepmom.
I have never, NEVER been hungover. I guess that comes from drinking just vodka. Now the saying "Beer before liquor, never been sicker" has a whole new meaning. I puked my toes on Sunday morning. Fun, fun.
After we all got around we went to lunch at the best Mexican food place in the world. Yes, it's in Stillwater, USA. I crave that place. One of the guys who we used to go to school with showed up there. It's amazing what 8 years will do to the scrawny kid to who used to mack on my sister. He walks in, probably over 6 feet tall, dark skin, and buff. Katie, you maybe should have taken him up on his offer! ;-)
Then we headed home about 3:30. I was exhausted. I only made it to Guthrie before I had to stop in the Love's parking lot and take a 15 minute power nap. Rylee was sleeping, so I just pulled in and left the car running, doors locked and snoozed for a bit.
All in all, it was an awesome weekend. It's is so great to visit with someone you haven't really seen in 8 years and just pick up where you left off. Anna has a great family! An adorable little boy and a husband who is the most awesome (or was it amazing - or incredible?) guy I've ever met. (How's that, Shawn?) =D Actually, he was pretty cool. We got a picture of us and the kiddos, but again my computer is being a moron and won't connect to my camera thingy, so I'll have to try to get it off later. I just wish she lived closer.
It was so surreal to be back in Stillwater, at an OSU game, with Anna where we are now in our lives. It's funny how things work out. That place still sometimes gives me the eebie-jeebies. Being that close to the old life eeks me out sometimes. I was introduced as Cassy @#$!#$ (step-dad's last name). Ick. I wanted to scream, "That's not me, dammit!!!"
Oh, and for those of you keeping track who don't watch SportsCenter (do those people exist?), my Cowboys won! And the Sooners lost. Pretty much a perfect weekend, if you ask me.
Well, I still feel a bit hungover, so I'm going to take my tired self to bed.
Pokes win!
Sooners lose!
9.16.2005
Have brakes - will travel!I got my brakes fixed today - no more squeaking. That's something I can't stand. So, now I'm $150 poorer and ready to head to OK tomorrow. Whoo hoo!!! We're going to hit the road early and be there hopefully by about 11:00 or so.
I've still got to pack of course. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm Queen of the Procrastinators. That and I hate to pack. Even if it is for only one night. I'm really looking forward to catching up with Anna and watching some football. As much as I dislike Oklahoma and Stillwater in general, I love college football and OSU is a fun environment. Plus, I know all the words to the fight songs. How corny is that?? I just hope that Ms. Thing decides to behave. It's funny how when you're introducing your kid to someone you want them to be an angel and have no meltdowns or show their not-so-cute-as-a-button side. And they all have one.
Speaking of my oh so cute girl, she has been only nursing at night and not wanting to after work. I think the end is near. If she wanted to just nurse at night for another year, that'd be fine with me. It makes me sad to think of our nursing time coming to an end, so I'm just not going to.
Tonight, I think she called me Cassy more than she called me mama. What a smarty pants!
Also tonight was the big 1-3 birthday party for Taylor. She had some friends over, and they ate pizza and danced like the adolescent girls they are. Now they're off to the movies and the house is quiet. Man does that feel nice!
Taylor is such a sweet girl. I've really noticed a change in her over the summer and so far this school year. It's hard to believe that we met her when she was only 6. My how time flies. She has really become a nice young woman. And I do mean woman! ;-) Rylee adores her, which of course makes her stock soar in my book.
I love you, girlie! Hope you have a wonderful year and I can't wait to watch you grow and mature. You're doing a great job, and I'm lucky to have you in my life!
I guess I'd better sign off and go finish packing. I have an Arbonne call with someone at 10:00. That's what I get for recruiting on the west coast.
GO POKES!!!!
9.15.2005
Decisions, decisions, decisions....Well this weekend is already proving to be interesting. I had planned to take a new playgroup mom to Ikea, but then my best friend Anna from HS called and is going to be in Stillwater for the OSU game and invited me to come up and hang out with them. How cool is that???
Pretty damn cool except that I have to get brakes on my car if I'm going to do that. I had been putting it off in hopes of trading it in. I got the dreaded phone call today from the dealership that I am too far upside down in my piece to get 'er done. The upside is that the problem is not, I repeat not, my credit! Happy dance.
Now I've got to try and get brakes sometime tomorrow before 6:00 which is when Taylor's 13th birthday party is. Dimwit that I am, I told Amy that I'd go to dinner with her tomorrow night. She's going through some crap and needs to talk and vent. Man to I put myself in awkward spots sometimes.
So, now I have doubly obligated myself for two days worth of fun. Who do I stand up? I *hate* flaking on people and having to cancel. But I don't think I'll see Anna again anytime soon since she lives in Denver. And a girl only turns 13 once. So I think that's what I'll do and the other two will have to wait for some other time.
I need a mental calendar that I can always have with me so that I know what the hell I'm supposed to be doing.
**Note to self: Buy birthday present!!!
When Erin and I were in Florida, she taught Rylee that my name is in fact NOT mama but is actually Cassy. Guess what that little booger calls me now? Uh huh. Especially is she's mad or if I'm not giving her my undivided attention. I get a loud "CASSY!" Thanks, Ms. Erin!
When that still doesn't help, she will holler for Aunt Katie. This is used quite often in the car when she's tired of being in her carseat. It starts out "Mama?" I reply, "Yes, baby." Then a louder "MAMA!" I again reply, "Yes, baby". Then she screams "MAAAAAAMMMAAAA!" I reply "Yes, baby". If that doesn't cause me to stop immediately and get her out (which of course it doesn't), she'll say "Cassy?" Here's where I start laughing (which probably doesn't help the situation..) and reply "Yes, Rylee". This repeats like the Mama scenario.
When all else fails, she will yell "KATIE!!!" at the top of her lungs. Like Super Aunt is going to swoop in from superhero world and save her. It's actually pretty cute, because once she finishes there, she's usually pretty happy.
I can't tell you how much I miss that girl when I'm at work. I love, and I do mean love, getting to go pick her up at school, see her run to me and shout "Mama!" and give me a bear hug and a kiss. It really does make my day better. God, I love her. So much it hurts.
In other news, Rylee was put in time out today. Twice. For two minutes each for climbing on things. Is that timeout worthy? I'm not sure how I feel about it.
The bossman is gone for a week. More happy dance. Today was a better day. Happy pills make for Happy Cassy. Bite me, Tom Cruise, Leah Remini and Scientology.
9.14.2005
Now accepting applicationsFor men who would like to be my sugar daddy, so that this is not my life:
1. Wake up at the butt crack of dawn.
2. Make a 45 min - 1.5 hour commute that should take all of 35 min.
3. Work a 9 hour day.
4. Put up with a boss who doesn't understand why doing all of the accounting for 4 separate companies and working on his 'speical projects' leaves no time to be the HR department, benefits department and clean up 6 months of reconciliations left undone by my predecessor who was lazy and entered thing in lump sums that I have to painstakingly disect to get to true numbers. Can you say overwhelmed?
5. Drive back home 45 min - 1.5 hour.
6. Pay $900 a month to be away from my girl for 11 hours a day.
7. Have crappy credit that is not going to let me buy a house, but force me to rent for another 9 months-year.
8. Be stopped in the parking lot by Jose So-and-So who feels the need to tell me that my car needs some body work and he is just the guy to do it. (bugger off)
9. Having quit smoking and be dying for a cigarette to relieve some of this freakin stress.
In case you can't tell, today is shit-tay!!! Somehow I missed paying for school last week, so now I owe two weeks and a late fee. Not a biggie, b/c I have the moolah, but it's embarassing. I forgot to take my happy pill yesterday and this mornig b/c I'm trying to be a good girl and not stop and get breakfast. Since I don't have a drink in the car, which is usually where I've been taking it, I forgot. I need a good cry, but I don't think I could swing that here at my desk. I just want to be home with Rylee, doing whatever. I'd like a nap. Sure as hell can't swing *that* at my desk.
Some days are diamonds; some days suck ass.
9.13.2005
And you're OUTTA HERE!Today is GSAM's last day.
Good riddance!
So, my sending hate mail to my male coworkers through a blog they never read and don't know exists has not decreased the traffic of their kind to my little potty room. I still have to touch the seat and there are still cups in trash. (uvula quivering)
So today, I made this sign and taped it to the door.
Ladies
Chances are, you don't have enough
estrogen to pee in this potty.
There's a Men's over there.
[Arrow pointing in that direction]
Let's see if they get the hint.
9.12.2005
Oh, so THAT'S why!Here in the Lone Star State, it's not actually illegal to talk on a cell phone while you drive. Or at least they're not yet allowed to ticket you for it. After tonight, I understand why that is going to change in the near future.
I'm very absent minded, especially when driving a route I drive every day, e.g., to and from work. Tonight, I was driving home, minding my own business talking to Kellie on the phone, and I rear-ended the guy in front of me. Yep, I ran right smack into the back of his white Impala with my black car. I have no clue how it happened. I guess I was looking at something else, and just wasn't thinking.
I'm sure he almost shit his pants when he looked in his rear view mirror and saw the front of my car all banged up. (This from a hit and run two years ago in the parking lot of a bar at 3:30 a.m.). I can only imagine the horror and the dread of getting out of the car and facing what his car looked like if mine was that bad.
Fortunately for both of us, there was only a small black smudge. I went ahead and gave him my name and number and told him to call me if he decided to do anything about it. That's one way to give you name and number out to good looking single guys!
Sheesh.
9.11.2005
The Punkin, a.k.a. Chica MonkeySo, Kami, yesterday took some pictures of my girl on her stairs. How she managed to get Rylee to actually look at the camera, I'll never know. I also don't know where Chica Monkey came from, but I call her that a lot.
9.10.2005
GhostsThanks to all who responded to my last post. I've been very frustrated as of late about the whole issue and it helps to know that I'm not alone in those feelings. Blogging is great! It's an awesome association with people you don't know but find you have much in common with. I love, I love it, I love it [in the voice of Molly Shannon on SNL raising her leg straight in the air]!
Now on to this post.
I'm being haunted. By ghosts from my past. No, it's not some creepy ex-boyfriend. Or a psycho old roommate. Or a weirdo I met online. It's groceries I bought and rent I paid - on a credit card that didn't get paid off - three years ago. It really sucks big time.
I found the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood. Actually it's not built yet, which is another part of the perfection. It's as big as I'll ever need, very affordable, and I'll get to customize it to my heart's content. Or I won't. Because my credit sucks. Mind you that for the past two and a half years everything looks fine. But three years ago when I left the old life with literally nothing but a way too expensive vehicle and a credit card, I lived on that card because it was all I had. I also have been fighting with the hospital at which I had the punkin because they refuse to set up a payment plan for the thousands of dollars I owe them for the 48 hours I took up a bed there after a c-section that I desperately wanted to avoid.
I'm not a bad person. I always pay my rent. And my car payment. Any my phone bill. And, and, and. But I haven't always been able to, so NOW, I'm paying for it by having to live in another apartment until I can get this whole damn mess cleaned up.
Of course everyone and their dog will charge you $600 - $1000 to fix your credit so that you can 'probably' qualify for a mortgage loan. Well, probably isn't good enough. I'll keep my money, thank you.
Geez, I'm bummed. That house is perfect. Perfect, I tell ya. The problem is I let myself dream about it a bit too much. I had the office decorated and the guest bedroom set up. I can see the floors and my Ikea-esque living room and kitchen. And now, it's back to some place with neighbors above, and all the other glory that comes with apartment life. Yippe kye yay.
I self medicated tonight with some Marble Slab. It didn't cheer me up though.
But there was good today. We went to a Pampered Chef party at Kami's today. Man can that woman cook. She puts me waaayyy to shame. I bought a couple of goodies, so maybe the Martha Stewart in her will rub off on me.
When we got home, I was checking email and the punkin was being awfully quiet. Every mother knows this is a bad sign, but I finished what I was doing (big mistake) and then went in to see her. She was covered - covered! - in foundation from head to toe. As was my makeup bag. And the floor. And the couch. And her chair. She had gotten into my foundation wand and apparently rubbed every exposed inch of her body with it and then took after other things. I'm sure was thinking "This is the coolest marker EVER!!"
My lipstick was also spread on various non-lip places. This carpet is going to be murder to get clean when we move out.
Rylee has this new baby. She's never been a baby-doll baby, but she got this one and she holds on to it tight and carts it around all the time. It's one of those soft body, plastic headed, sick looking dolls that looks incredibly asexual. But she loves it. Who am I to judge?
She has also become a blankie baby. This was the conversation I had with her teacher on Friday when I picked her up.
M: "Do you want to take home Rylee's blanket and wash it?"
C: "What blanket?"
M: "This blanket she sleeps with at naptime."
C: "That's not her blanket."
M: "It's not? She insists on sleeping with it every day for naps. And she done it for as long as I've been here."
C: "Really? I've never seen it."
So not only has she had this habit I don't know about for some time now, she's evidently also a thief. It's really NOT her blanket. Everyone there thought that I had brought it for her. What a mystery.
I did bring it home though, and now it's tumbling in the dryer, all fresh and clean for her to take back to school with her on Monday.
Blankie baby, indeed.
9.08.2005
What the hell? No, seriously. WHAT THE HELL???If you read my long list of things about me (and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't), you know that I grew up in the church and (gasp!) left that whole mess. There are lots of reasons, but the two major ones are that I feel like God has got to be seriously messed up to let some of the shit that has happened my life go on and two because of the hypocrisy I see and the self righteous attitude of many (of course not all) supposed Christians.
I still hear things from time to time about the church I went to for about 6 years. I have to say that those people are the most judgemental, uncompassionate, ivory-tower-living people I've ever met. There seems to be two unwritten lists - the one with thing you HAVE to do (go to church 3 times a week, wear dresses to church, don't use an instrument in worship, take communion once a week....) and the one with things you can't do (have sex out of marriage, drink alcohol - ever, say crap, dance, wear pants to church...you get the idea). Stay off the one and do the things on the other and you've got your golden ticket to the pearly gates. Do it the other way around and you're on the fast track to hell.
This was a small group of about 50 people, so you'd think that there couldn't be too much wrong, right? Guess again. In just this small group, back behind the scenes and in the dark of their private lives, this is who they are:
1. A long time (we're talking years here) child molester
2. A guy who just got busted for child porn
3. A professor who cheated on his wife with a student
4. A woman who adopted 3 kids from India, only to bring them here and beat the shit out of them and verbally abuse them
So these people sit there in church three times every week because that's what good Christians do, and all the while this is going on. Are you fucking kidding me? Something about what you're doing is NOT working when this many people in such a small group have these kinds of serious issues.
And yet, these same people can shun my sister who decided to marry someone who wasn't a Bible thumper. Do you know she couldn't even get someone to marry her because of that???? These same people will look down their noses at me because I have the occasional glass of wine and because I got pregnant when I wasn't married.
Guess what self-righteous, bitches? I just got 'caught'. You've done it too and you're lucky you didn't get knocked up.
Their whole game is to look the part, talk the talk and then apparently they can do whatever the hell they want for the rest of their lives. And then preach at others about how wrong it is to have a beer, or to wear pants or to have a woman speak in church or to use a piano when you sing in church.
Get a grip!!! You all have PROBLEMS - big ones. But I guess you can't see them for the log in your eye. You're too busy tyring to get the damn sawdust out of 'the world's'.
I am just furious after hearing about this woman doing that. They adopted 3 kids from India and now she's pushing them down the stairs, hitting them in the jaw, beating them with antennas??????????? She even told her birth daughter that she wasn't the daughter she wanted.
There is nothing that pisses me off more than to see people hurt children. Couple that with a self righteous attitude because your sick white ass warms a pew a few times a week and you are the scum of the earth. All of you.
You aren't good people. What you're doing isn't working. Your cult, I mean church, is not growing except for when people get married or have kids. Probably kids that will end up hurt at your hands. I hate you.
It might send me straight to hell, but I'd rather have drinking a martini on my conscience than beating or raping my children. Who'll drink to that?
Who was the 666th unique visitor to my blog? Will you be cursed by the mark of the beast?
I hate being on hold - especially when I hear that annoying "beep-beep" instead of music.
9.06.2005
Things about me...I've seen this on some other blogs (Kami's being one) and thought I'd try it. So here are 100 things about me. I'm tagging you girls, so get ready!
1. I'm a textbook Gemini.
2. I was born in Colorado.
3. I don't talk to my mom.
4. I don't go to church.
5. I grew up going, though, and have read the Bible zillions of times.
6. I think it's more important to be spiritual than religious.
7. I like wine.
8. Arbonne is all I put on my skin and my baby's skin.
9. My mom had a baby when I was almost 15.
10. I love my kid so much I hurt.
11. The thought of dying and her not remembering me and my not being there for her makes me ill.
12. I'm not really a fan of chocolate.
13. I've never owned a vehicle that was paid off.
14. I work as an accountant.
15. I'd rather be a lawyer.
16. My favorite perfume is Clinique Simply.
17. I don't own a house.
18. I have a degree.
19. I never drive the speed limit or below.
20. My car insurance premiums are through the roof.
21. I have too much credit card debt.
22. Cancer terrifies me.
23. I've had melanoma.
24. I quit smoking for the LAST time.
25. I chickened out on getting married two years ago.
26. Today (9/6) would have been my anniversary.
27. Sometimes I can't believe that I'm a single mom.
28. I like cars.
29. I didn't play any sports in high school.
30. Recently, my best friend from high school called me.
31. Several members from our class are dead, in jail or otherwise non functioning members of society.
32. I can't stand doing laundry.
33. Or cooking.
34. I don't own a vibrator.
35. I like pillow talk.
35. And sex.
36. I love college football.
37. I'm also a college basketball fanatic.
38. I've lived in 4 states.
39. I've been to all of the 48 contiguous states.
40. I haven't been to Europe.
41. I have been to Mexico.
42. In high school, I took French, which I love.
43. I wish it had been Spanish because it's more useful in the U.S.
44. As far as I'm concerned, dating sucks.
45. I don't think marriage is necessary.
46. I've been pregnant twice.
47. I'm not very good at remembering to take vitamins.
48. I always rember my Lexapro.
49. Tornadoes don't scare me.
50. Hurricanes do.
51. I am becoming more liberal as I get older.
52. I think people who sexually abuse children should die slow painful deaths.
53. I think that marijuana should be legal.
54. I wish I had never started smoking, because then I wouldn't struggle with cravings now.
55. I think people who smoke inside around babies are selfish.
56. It really bothers me to see kids not wearing seatbelts or in carseats if they're young enough.
57. Of all the jobs I've had, I most enjoyed bartending.
58. I don't like beer.
59. But I have a Bud Light Baby in Ms. Rylee.
60. I think the death penalty should be outlawed.
61. I don't like activist judges.
62. I'm pro choice.
63. I can't stand Dubya.
64. If I didn't live in Texas, that might actually matter when I go to the polls.
65. I think the Pres is screwing up in Iraq.
66. I like sushi.
67. I don't really like eating cooked fish very often, though.
66. I'm a carb-a-holic.
67. I love milk.
68. I don't exercise like I should.
69. I want a boob job someday.
70. I will never forgive my stepdad - or talk to him again.
71. Or my dad for that matter - but I do talk to him.
72. I don't understand how parents can abandon their kids.
73. My youngest sister is younger than my niece.
74. My car is missing a headlight.
75. I refuse to get it fixed because it was hit in a parking lot (hit and run) and my insurance won't pay for it.
76. I'm stubborn.
78. I can be a real bitch.
79. Sometimes I mean to be; sometimes I don't.
80. I'm loyal.
81. I cry at silly things.
82. My daughter makes me emotional.
83. I love to laugh.
84. I really like to go to the theater and watch movies.
85. I love 'stage' theater too.
86. Someday I want to live in Manhattan for a couple of years.
87. I think I would go crazy for longer than that.
88. I want to be able to give Rylee what she needs AND wants.
89. I don't want any more kids - at least not for a while, and not without the right man.
90. Most of the time I don't believe in true love.
91. I wish that I could trust more easily.
92. When I think about losing my daughter, I can't breathe.
93. I don't like to pay bills.
94. I never balance my checkbook.
95. I'm an emotional eater.
96. I wish that I had gotten involved in politics as a teenager (as a page at the capitol or something)
97. If I'd done that, I'd probably be deeply entrenched in the Republican party - Ick.
98. I didn't vote in the last presidential election.
99. I don't like the whole process of getting up, showering and putting clothes and makeup on.
100. I like to drive
Okay, there you go! Some useless information about me. Now,Erin, Heather B, Kellie, Dorothy, and whoever else wants to...it's your turn.
Let me know when and if you play! =)
I'm NOT talking about a part of my body here! My intuition is usually right about Rylee, and sure as shit it was today. While I was sitting at work missing her and wondering how she was, worrying if she was okay, she wasn't. She had a bad day, didn't eat and was fussy and clingy all day. I knew it on the way to work and cried for the first time in weeks.
Damn having to make a living anyway. As soon as my sugar daddy comes along, I'm done. D.O.N.E. I'm staying home with my baby.
Some days it's just really hard to be away from that sweet girlie of mine. Today is one of those days. It's been much easier, knowing that she's happy and all, but this morning, she's all I can think about about. I miss her. A lot.
9.05.2005
Paradise...rediscovered!Today I remade my bed with the good sheets that had been puked on by a sick Rylee last week. They are my very favorite - jersey knit. I'll take them over sateen or some other fancy schmancy type any day. They just swallow me up like a big comfy t-shirt. I love them. They're cheap, too. $40 bucks for the set at Sam's. Get some.
I also put my feather bed back on top of my mattress. OMG! I forgot how nice it is to sleep on what you get to at the Ritz. Back in the day, I stayed at the Ritz in Atlanta once and LOVED the bed, topped with 6 inches of feather softness and ordered one from them right then and there. No way, no how would I spend $700 for something that goes over an overpriced mattress these days. Funny how life changes.
So I finally got it all put back together, with the fitted sheet stretched as far as it can go - another reason I like jersey - they stretch, and when I finally laid down on it, I remembered why I was so quick to whip out the wallet! The feather bed had been banished to the closet when Rylee made her appearance because I was paranoid that she'd sink down and suffocate as an infant. Now she's a tornado and doesn't lie still enough to suffocate! There are some benefits to having your baby grow up.
I can't wait to crash in my little piece of heaven on earth in a little bit. I've got to finish up some work I brought home and then I'm gonna sleep like a baby. Ahhhhhh....
9.04.2005
Dora! Dora! Dora!No, I didn't misspell the title to a classic Pearl Harbor film, but you would have thought to my 16-month old that not having a new Dora nightgown would have caused the same cacophony the world over.
At Target last night, she saw this way too big Dora the Explorer nightgown and had to have it. Since she has never really wanted anything or paid much attention to what I'm putting in the cart, I gave in and let her have it. Of course she had to check herself out in the mirror in the bathroom, too. Here are some pictures - thanks to my computer finally seeing my camera setup.
Try telling HER that a size 2T is just too big.
Note the still wet bath hair. It really isn't dirty and matted like it looks!
I'm up early on a Sunday morning, sitting here thinking about everything I have to be grateful for. I really am humbled by all the good in my life right now. Of course the bulk of that centers around Rylee. Just yesterday she started saying "hold you" when she wants to be held. She also said "other side" when she wanted the other boob. I *never* imagined myself nursing a toddler, but it's great - such a different bonding experience than nursing a newborn.
It's very cool to watch her development and the change from one word blurts to two word 'sentences'. I was telling someone yesterday how neat it is to really be able to communicate with her and have her get it. I can give her directions like 'put it back' or 'bring mommy a book' and she does! It's the little things that make life great.
I pulled the pictures from the other day when she was sick and stamped herself For Deposit Only. It's strange but she they don't really look like her. Check out those cheeks!!!
Love, love, love my sleeping beauty!
9.03.2005
What we can do...**I typed this all out this morning and then had a brain fart and saved it as a draft, instead of publishing it. Geez.
I'm as frustrated as anyone about the Katrina situation. It has taken way too long to get supplies to those poor refugees (can you believe that we're even calling people in OUR country that??).
Here are some things I've found that we can do to help. Most of this is stuff in the DFW area, where we've taken in thousands of these devestated people.
1.Salvation Army 9216 Harry Hines Blvd., Dallas - For more information, call 1-800-SAL-ARMY (725-2769).
Items needed at this location: Money, industrial-sized cans of vegetables, diapers, hand sanitizers, personal toiletries, flashlights, socks, insect repellent, baby formula, work gloves and plastic gloves to help hurricane victims.
2. Tarrant County Resource Connection - Need volunteers now!
1000 Circle Drive, Fort Worth
There are pregnant women with newborns at the Tarrant County Resource Connection from New Orleans. Items needed as soon as possible: cribs/basinets, formula, bottles, blankets, wipes, baby clothing and any baby items.
3. Money donations can be sent to these honest charities:
**America's Second Harvest - The Nation's Food Bank Network - http://www.secondharvest.org/
35 E. Wacker Drive, Suite 200Chicago, IL 60601-2200 312-263-2303
**American Red Cross - Dallas Area Chapter - http://www.redcross.org/
4800 Harry Hines Boulevar, Dallas, TX 75235 1-800-435-7669 (English)
What the Red Cross needs now is monetary donations!! Contributions to the Disaster Relief Fund may be sent to the Dallas Area Chapter or to American Red Cross, PO Box 37243, Washington, D.C. 20013.
4. The old Wal-Mart in McKinney (on 380) is being set up as a staging area, since Reunion Arena is already full and somewhat chaotic. They could use some of our time and donations. Every little bit helps.
5. There is also a huge shortage of blood. I wish everyone would go give to help out. Carter Blood Care will be at Vista Ridge Mall today for a blood drive. There are opportunities everywhere to give.
These people need our help, and they need it now. There so so many ways we can do a little bit that will make a huge difference . You can go to volunteernorthtexas.org if you are in the DFW area and fill out an application to volunteer with that group. It's the weekend - a long one for most people.
Let's help.
9.02.2005
Mr. Phone Guy:Thank you for not touching me today. And for wearing a hat that mentions some Hilton hotel and not a woman's body part(s). I should remind you however, that "babydoll" is also a name by which you may not refer to me.
If you need a reminder of which bathroom is yours, please refer the previous post to the men in my workplace. Mine says "Women". Yours says "Men". Please use only yours.
One more thing. My love life is not your business. You are not allowed to ask me if I'm dating. This is for a number of reasons, the main one being that I'm young enough to be your daughter. I don't date men older than me by double digit numbers that start with 2.
9.01.2005
Home again, home again, jiggity jigThis morning, Rylee threw up twice - before we got to school. So of course I wasn't going to be able to leave her. I called bossman and told him what was going on and said that I would bring my laptop to work, put QuickBooks on it and then take some stuff home to work on. He seemed somewhat pacified by that, but was still sour.
I went to work and did get some things to do here. While there, Rylee was playing with my things and found a "For Deposit Only" stamp and proceeded to not only stamp the piece of paper I gave her, but also her WHITE shirt. Fortunately, it was a sale shirt from Target, but still.
I think I'm getting what she has. Last night I felt super crappy and expected to be throwing up all night. I was surprised that I wasn't awakened until my alarm went off. Today I fell equally bad and took a long nap with my sweet girl. That was nice. Yes, I *will* get the work done that I brought home.
I took some pics of my girl when she konked out. Notice the stamp marks on her shirt.
**Well, for some stupid reason, my computer doesn't see the thing that holds my memory card, so I can't upload my pics. Stupid technology.